Well! I finally joined up. The Palm revolution. Yes, it’s a new tech toy for Aron, and it’s too damn cool! The Palm IIIe that I got was cheap, smaller than the Newton MessagePad 100 I used to use, and Grafitti works a lot better than the Newton’s handwriting recognition. I was able to work at normal handwriting speed within my first 24 hours of ownership. And the shareware out there on the net is cool, too. Got it syncing up with Linux, so I’m good to go. I’ve even written my first serious piece of poetry on it. It didn’t kill the feel at all.
Of course, all of this is psychological avoidance: I’m buying stuff and playing with stuff to avoid having to deal with the fact that tomorrow I’m delivering a Monologue to a small (admittedly) audience, and that before the end of the week I’ve got three papers due again! So — it’s either “Wow! This Palm IIIe is too damn cool!” or “Please, run me through with a harpoon! Quick!”
Meanwhile, if you ever get a chance to take a class from one Matt Potolsky, do! The guy is funny as hell and smart enough to make education bearable. Still wondering about some of my other profs this semester. The verdict on them, I think, will graudally develop as things progress toward the end.
Turned yet another paper in. Found out I’ve got a midterm coming up on Friday. Will this never end? Mentally preparing to really set in on another book, but have yet to line up a publisher. Will be contacting the folks who helped me out last time shortly. Paid some bills, wrote letters to a couple of old friends via U.S. mail after one of them surprised me with a letter. Writing, as in “by hand” with a pen, is quite a visceral experience — I’d forgotten. Too cool. Basically, still trying to figure out what I want to do with myself for life right now and for about the next 5 or 10 years. All I know is that I want it to involve rain, the smell of rain, grass, and just — you know — beauty — the beauty of existence. Big decision, and more than a little overwhelming. Anybody have any ideas?
Schulz dies suddenly on the last day of his strip and I’m totally broken up about it. And tomorrow will be my first St. Valentine’s day alone in a very long time, and I’m broken up about that, too. I’d better watch it, or I’ll be descending into depressed idleness yet again. Meanwhile, time to see if I can start work on another book.
All I want in the world right now — the only thing — is a shoulder to cry on — the shoulder of somebody who loves me. Unfortunately, nobody fitting that description seems to be around — I am more or less emotionally alone in the world — so I’ll cry on the Web. I guess the Web loves me… And I’ll hang around for hours playing Landslide on my new guitar and wondering how entire lives can change in an instant. Snow is falling. It’s pretty.
Realized that like an idiot, I’ve been marking all of the dates on the site as ’99’ even though it’s now ’00’ so I’ve fixed them all (most?) hopefully. Got my papers done. The worst thing I’ve read so far in college, whether in the college of humanities or in the college of engineering is Signature Event Context by Jacques Derrida, a sort of rambling pile of nonsense about what words mean. Horrible stuff. Bought some more CDs and some more computer games, but haven’t played most of them. Still spending cash like there’s no tomorrow. Meanwhile, trying to arrange a summer backpack across Europe, and thinking about applying to Cambridge (yes, in the UK) for a semester or two.
I definitely have to get out more and build some history for myself after my relationship with J—. As things stand now, I don’t have much to talk to people about — recent ex-es are always a taboo subject in American culture, and I don’t have anything really for the last five years that doesn’t involve my ex. Europe should help. School isn’t helping much…
Oh yeah… Bought a new guitar on the yet to replace my old ‘plywood box’ that sounds like a banjo on drugs. Well, actually I ordered two — the first one was backordered, and so when they let me know, I chose a new one. Ibanez acc. with a greenish finish. Still a cheap box, but it’s gotta be better than what I got. Maybe I’ll carry it across Europe in a gig bag playing on busses? *laugh*