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Monthly Archives: April 2000

I just finished writing my…  §

I just finished writing my last paper for the semster. I think I’m going to go and have a congratulatory drink. Oh, wait… Still have finals next week. *pffffffbbbt* Drink later. Study now.

Latest re-discovery: Stone Temple Pilots.

Elian Gonzales taken at gunpoint.  §

Yup… America… Still the same country that brought you arms-for-hostages trading, overbombings of eastern Europe, Waco, and Ruby Ridge. Everybody keep your bulletproof vests ready, especially if you’re six.

7.1.0.0.  §

Well… My final tax bill, state plus federal, for 1999? (drum roll) Only $7100! Hallelujia! I’m so gratified that I can be of help to the largest underclass in the world — the civic servants! Someone bring me my mat, that I might pray!

(grumble)

I looked in the mirror…  §

I looked in the mirror as was feeling a little droopy so I’ve started working out regularly (or as regular as one can get in a few days) every night. And in the process, I’ve rediscovered… AC/DC! Oh yes! There is nothing better when you’re covered with sweat and full of adrenaline than AC/DC! Moneytalks! Who Made Who! I’m going to start wearing a necktie and short pants. It’s irresistible.

Also: Monty Python! Know what I mean? Eh? Eh? Know what I mean?

The republic of the soul!…  §

The republic of the soul! That is what I am after, by God! If you have no idea what I’m talking about, read Edith Wharton’s The House Of Mirth for enlightenment. Enlightenment! That is also what I am after, by God…

And still, there is a…  §

And still, there is a twisting of the consciousness, a remaining disfigurement from her leaving. It is nearly an internal Panopticon — it causes me to observe myself uninterruptedly from center outward to every bizarre detail, in what should by all rights be the utter height of self-consciousness, but for the fact that I myself am unaware at times of the gaze. Where do I go from here, and what do I hold at each extreme that will help me to arrive? Do I ring like a bell? Am I the resurrection?

There is no solace in the indulgence of anachronism anymore; nor in company. I have no idea where relief can be found, or whether I would even employ it were I able to find it. An interesting problem, to say the least.

I’ve bought myself a hat.

It’s 4:00 in the morning…  §

It’s 4:00 in the morning and instead of staying up to do my homework like I was supposed to, I stayed up and played around with my home page. There’s a bunch of new stuff in the “About Me” section of the page, for anyone that’s interested. (Is anybody out there?) Well… Off to bed.

An interesting memory hit me…  §

An interesting memory hit me in the face tonight… I was sitting around minding my own business when I happened to think of the first time I said the words “I love you” to J—, way back in 1995. Her response to me then? She said “I’m sorry…” in a tone filled with pity and sorrow. If only I had quit then… Oh well. I didn’t.

Not much going on lately. I’ve been working a lot, and the semester is going to end soon, so I’m trying to just sort of zone out and become productive for a three week stretch, after which I can collapse and maybe even die of exhaustion and lethargy, if I’m lucky. One thing did go on: David, a guy I consider to be a very, very good friend stopped in to visit along with Josh, another old friend. It was definitely all right. David, stop in again soon. Josh… I don’t have your phone number. What is it? Duh… Here I sit writing this on the Web. I’ll write you an e-mail.