I have always wanted to be completely open in this Web-diary, but some things are better left unsaid, as painful as it is for me to realize. Today was… one of the most difficult ever in my life and probably will remain quite high on that list forever.
Nothing is ever crystal clear; good and bad can sometimes mix in ways that make sound judgment impossible and incredible sadness then becomes both friend and enemy.
I am guilty, but I don’t know how to change the way, or perhaps it cannot be changed at all. In the ecstasy of confused emotions that occupies me now, I can easily say that I am the reason for fall’s beginning and I will be the reason for winter’s coming. I am in desperate need of a hand-holder.
For those I know who are in such a position… please light a candle for me if you think of it. I could use the help.