I am so exhausted. It’s almost like it would be easier if I suffered a coronary or a stroke in the middle of the night and never came to. So many things to worry about. So much stress. So much crap. I just don’t know sometimes if I really have the stamina to maintain my little identity here in my corner of the world, in the face of it all.
There is so much hate in this world, so much apathy on our tiny planet… it’s hard not to become swept up in the pain, not to lash out in kind… it’s hard not to become immobilized by it, not to become despondent, not to fear everyone.
And yet, hidden in the little nooks are crannies are such moments as you’ve never imagined until you meet them; things that make you love, things that make you cry, things that make you hopeful that someday we will all be one small world and one small family.
I only wish the people who fostered this kind of understanding weren’t as a matter of course so modest, so hard to discover… I feel as though I have so much to learn from them, yet while they live they tend to be so unknown…
Perhaps death is sometimes reality’s way of allowing those who have given enough to transcend the world in which we live…
Remember 1989? Remember 1991? Remember when the children of tomorrow were freed? Where has that feeling gone? Sometimes life is too bittersweet. Sometimes I just want to die.
One thing I will never understand… why are peacemakers and teachers so completely hated in America?
I am lonely. I would guess that most people in the western world are lonely, but only rarely admit it to themselves, and never to others, because the advertisements tell us to avoid other lonely people, and so we do, carefully.
I am going to Hawai’i to love everyone. Watch me.