It’s so frustrating. All of these employed people are always coming to me to help out with stuff they’re getting paid to do, becuase I’m one of those rare people who actually knows how to do it. The story is the same as usual:
– Person X takes a class from person Y on product Z
– Person Y says they don’t fully understand product Z
– So person X doesn’t fully understand product Z
– But person X needs product Z for work
– So person X calls me, and I help them with
* What they’re paid to do
* What Y was paid to teach them but didn’t or couldn’t
– I get paid nothing by society, even though
* I’m really hurting
* I help lots of people with product Z
* Unlike most, I fully understand product Z, not just how to use it, but how it works
* I’ve applied (and not been hired) many times to jobs using product Z
* I’ve applied (and not been hired) to teach about product Z
There are so many persons X and Y and products Z in my life over the years that I absolutely lose count. All the “thanks!” are echoing in my ears, but other than friendly satisfaction, I have little to show for them.
I’ve applied for so many jobs in my life, and have gotten very, very few of them. The ones that I have landed have been crap, by and large, low hourly with no benefits or freelance/contract with no benefits and no rights. Fast food. Customer service. Writing/editing grunt work. And yet right now I’d love to have any of them, since I’m broke and in fiscal trouble. I sit here all day and fill out applications and send out resumés and everyone says I’m really impressive and then nothing. I don’t get hired for the jobs that X and Y hold, even though X and Y aren’t quite qualified to do them and I end up doing them for free in the end anyway when X or Y (or both) come to me.
Ethical dilemma: do I stop helping people and just pretend I know as little as commercial society credits me with? I still won’t get paid for anything, still won’t have a job, and in the meantime, I won’t be doing my best for the world. But at the same time, what encouragement is there for anyone to know how to do anything if there are people like me out there who are free-laborers at:
– Copy writing
– Copy editing
– Networking, network integration, network deployment, and network security
– Rapid application development
– Web development
– E-commerce administration and hosting
– Systems integration, infrastructure, legacy systems
– Technology consulting
– Social services consulting
I have helped so many people make so much money over the years… yet I’m still broke… and nobody will pay me to do anything, it seems. My credit is worse every year, and my bank book smaller. I have fewer and fewer things to do as the people that I’ve helped over the years gradually increase their skills and improve their positions based on the help that I gave them, eventually no longer needing me.
I am trying not to be bitter, but when you have bills to pay and people still needing my help with things they’re getting paid for and I’m not, it’s tough. It’s not that I hate helping — totally opposite, I love helping people out. But if I’m willing to always help and contribute so much to society, why is society trying to destroy me? Why is my credit rotten, why am I homeless, why can’t I afford to operate a motor vehicle, and why can’t I get a job?
I don’t know what the answer is. Everything I come up with as an explanation or a comment sounds really bitter. I just don’t know. I’m exhausted. Very, very exhausted. Every day I’m more exhausted than the last. I don’t know how long I can keep this up before I absolutely reject the “social contract.”
SOMEBODY GIVE ME A JOB! I’M AN IQ 150 MASTER OF ARTS FROM A WORLD-RENOWNED GRADUATE SCHOOL THAT CAN DO ALMOST ANYTHING ON EARTH YOU THROW AT ME, WITH AN EXISTING KNOWLEDGE BREADTH THAT FEW ON EARTH CAN MATCH!
Plus, I’m bright.