Tonight, J-, I stick my tongue out at you and at your empolyer, who exploits its employees to the fullest.
And J—ie, I didn’t want to put you in a cage then, like you thought I did, but I’d love to put you in a cage now, and pluck your feathers, and put my cigar out on you. I made you. I pulled you out of the alcohol slums and sent you to Costa Rica, but you never prayed to me in thanks. I know that you haven’t forgotten, that it is awkward for you, and that you fear it.
And T-, you thought you’d taken me, commanded me, but you didn’t realize it was only because for a time you had my permission to do so. I still remember your shock when told you that I’d see you only in hell. I see that you’re there now, and I breathe it, and it is good.
And aqueous, you felt threatened and ran, but I am your friend anyway. Except tonight. Tonight I am not your friend. Tonight I would not save you if you were clinging to the cliffside in the gales. Tonight I am threatening.
Tonight I am dark and threatening to you all.
Tonight is my night off. My night off.
I take tonight, the first night in many, many years, to revel in apathy. To myself. Tonight I am male, unapologetically, deeply male and fertile. Tonight I am a giant. Tonight I roar again that I am a brilliant mind, a creative force, a wishing dragon, an ageless rock.
I am. I am and you all swept up against me, as I have been told too many times, as I have accepted too many times. I am the most generous soul in the universe, more generous than Jesus, more generous than the Buddah. And I have been there. Tonight, I take my thanks as homage, as bounty. I take it from you and you are powerless. Yes, it is about power. And I tonight, for a moment only, my moment, I claim it. I claim it and there is nothing for you to do.