She holds tight to some normative definition of what’s rude and will only talk to me on the phone when it’s not rude. Of course, then, I become a burden. Every time she talks to me on the phone, therefore, she feels as though I’m keeping her:
– Trapped outside where it’s hot/cold because it’s rude to talk inside
– Trapped in isolation because it’s rude to talk in front of others
– In a position of holding everyone else up because they wait on her but she won’t talk in front of them
So definitely I’m a burden. The only way that I’m accessible is via cell phone, and the cell phone always places her in a position of rude exteriority.
Great. So it’s either minimze contact or be a burden. Sucky choice.