Of all the things I hate most in the world, my phone is number one. I don’t know how many times now I’ve smashed the god damn thing with my own hands and had to replace it. I hate it. The phone is all-powerful. The phone is everything. It is my friends. It is my girlfriend. It is my job. It is my creditors. I FUCKING HATE TELEPHONES. Of course, I also hate friends, girlfriends, jobs, and creditors, but without the FUCKING PHONE none of them would exist anyway.