I’m always trapped between two ways of screwing myself over:
1. Keep what I think and feel to myself and go along with the program, screwing myself over because I don’t like many parts of the program, or
2. Say what I think and screw myself over with the consequences, because nobody likes what I think or feel.
There so far is never a 3. in which what I say is also what someone else wanted. I am incompatible with my life and with humanity. I think either all other people, or me, should die.