This is why the world is in the state it’s in, and why we had no leadership during the Katrina aftermath.
It’s 4.30 in the morning and I am suddenly uncomfortably awake.
I don’t know. I don’t have the courage for any of this. Or rather, I’d prefer not to have the courage for any of this. Courage and integrity are just euphemisms for the choice to “experience suffering” rather than to “cause suffering.”
The world is too large for me. It makes me want to destroy myself. I don’t have the tools to cope with any of this, really. The last two years have further radicalized my ethical compass, along a different axis — a more anti-western, and some (though not others) would say anti-progressive axis.
I’m no longer “ultra-liberal” any more than I am in any way a conservative; indeed, I have travelled vertically in a political-ideological space that most in this country see as a horizontal spectrum alone.
What I am is anti-individual-freedom, anti-western, anti-marketplace, whether of ideas or of behavior or of cash. I have become more an authoritarian in my thinking. I believe that women and men alike should be told what to do, individually, from the day they are born, at gunpoint. They should be assigned identities, careers, and families, their lives and the economies in which they work planned from above by a tyranny of the proletariat become conscious, the sole holder of autonomy. They should be sent to the gulags if they are “clever” enough to think that they should have any input at all into anything, if they think that they should be allowed to cause such unrest when their own lives are so intertwined with the same environment, the same exchange space, and the same sets of resources that all must share.
I support the universal domination of circumstance, implemented to mitigate the more extreme, arbitrary, and unjust domination and destruction caused by individual “free” will that can exist only in the singularly correlative presence of its counterpart, individual subjugation.
The only way to end a greedy, quasi-darwinistic world of social selection is to ensure that “survival of the fittest” is replaced by “survival only at the pleasure of the transcendent collective will.”
Why can you not have your freedom? Because its very existence impinges upon mine and everyone elses. Therefore, all freedom must be taken from us, collectivized en masse, then meted out in precisely equal portions to all. It is the only equitable solution, the only equitable way to distribute suffering. And that, after all, is the real calculation in existence, as the Buddhists have always known. **Society does not exist to engage in the happy task of adjudicating the distribution of a limited number of goods. It was created, rather, to carry out the unhappy task of attempting to judiciously, fairly, and humanely distribute an irreducible number of ills.**