Leapdragon 2016 - Aron Hsiao Was Here

life  §

is a strange kind of beast

It’s always hard to tell liberation from domination from failure.

It’s a Saturday afternoon in New York City and I’m at school (pretty much the only one). Why?

I don’t know. Why not?

I have a bunch of photos to keyword and caption, but I’m not really into that right now. I need… something… but I don’t know what. Always that’s the way. I guess what I really need is to resolve paradoxes.

I want to live in the snowy mountains and I want to live in the dirty, packed city.

I want to be alone and I also want company.

I want to be poor but I also want to be able to play rich and travel, photograph, etc.

I want to teach and I also want to get out of academia forever.

I want to be a photographer but I don’t want to have to sell photographs.

I love technology but I also find it to be completely unfulfilling and banal.

I always miss my friends but I never, ever see them.

I should get to work. That’s why I’m here.

leapdragon says:

Hahahaha, no, feel free. My house is your house. I don’t control this thing any more than you do. (Okay, that’s a lie, but it’s a convenient one.)

Dioni says:

I forget it’s YOUR blog. Note to self – don’t get carried away.

leapdragon says:

I like real and I can’t stand anything that isn’t a lie.

on second thoughts, these are not even paradoxes at all. you just want it all. just like that. all of it. not "either-or", but both sides of the continuum – so what that they are extremes? children of choice, as we are, the "options" generation – why are we even surprised we get so schizophrenic??? Kierkegaardian impossibility of integrity, wholeness, peace, which we, nevertheless, miss. you crave more self-definition, but are at once blasee and cinical about that very perfection you are nostalgic about? strikes me as very real. i like real. do you?

D. says:

okay, this is the last one. at least for now.

so you are made up of paradoxes. or the world is. or you invite paradoxes into your life by the means of thinking and pondering. or the world is unloading them on you in the exciting entreprise of revealing its beauty. you have moral/ethic/esthetic high standars, want to strive for some sort of individual perfection away from the hassle and bustle of this trivial world – but at the same time you are, and need to be, an object of civilizational expectations, which are a damn burden as we all know. or something like that. My question is – why would you want it otherwise? why would you want the clarity, the resolution? why do you miss uncomplicated state of affairs so bad?