Leapdragon 2016 - Aron Hsiao Was Here

Some days  §

get away from you somehow. I can already tell that today is one of those days, even though it’s not even half over yet. I came down to the school to work on papers, but I’m not working, I’m mostly being distracted and odd. Heh.

Thinking about friends, actually, and how long it’s been since I’ve seen them and how strange it is that I don’t see them more often and how strange it would be if I did.

But pretty soon I’m gonna get on the subway and go back. What happens after that is anybody’s guess.

leapdragon says:

All the time when I’m alone and a) haven’t just seen anyone else in the last few hours and b) am not expecting to see anyone else for a few hours. Blogging for the most part happens within the context of recent or impending social contact. It is my method for keeping myself functioning within social contexts.

And it helps a lot, which is why every time I stop I end up doing it again very quickly.

"The fact that I laugh out loud most of the time doesn’t mean I don’t cry myslef to sleep at night" kind of thing? I mean, I know you probably don’t actually cry. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything apart from the fact that you are alive, so alive.
Do you sometimes just "be" – without looking for explanations, meaning, understanding?

leapdragon says:

I have "blog periods."

There was a period in 2000 or 2001 where everything I said was like beat poetry and I still read it every now and then.

There was a period in maybe 2002 or 2003 where everything was overtly political and I was all about putting people up against the wall and "capitalism this" and "capitalism that."

I think I have graduated to silly sadness over the last three years or so.

I actually had a double-blog for a moment, I organized a "group blog" with a bunch of friends, but we all sort of degenerated quickly, it became more like a bitch session.

The sadness is real, but it is also print-only. The print quadrant of my brain is not at all the same side as the speech quadrant. I don’t know how to explain this, but it is clearly so.

In person, in speech, I am really rather jolly most of the time. Too jolly, maybe even.

But I don’t know what that means.

D. says:

Stop being so metaphysically irresistibly sad – I gotta work here but can’t, since I just floated onto your site and now look what’s happening!