that is open at a library table as I arrive:
“…Photomicrography, Matches, Boy Scouts, Forestry, Marine Sport Fisheries, Metals, Distilling, Minor Arts, Salvation Army, Mycology, Agriculture, Geology, Photography and Motion Pictures, Dogs, Music, Sociology, Forestry, Plant Pathology, Etymology: Romantic and Celtic, Tea, Taxonomy, Card Games, Gambling Games, Zoology, Railroads, Color and Colorimetry, Ferns, Applied Photography and Equipment, Chemistry of Photography, Industrial Management, Icthyology, Navigation and Seamanship, Paints and Varnish, Ecology, Physics, Christian Science, Glass, Fishes, Tropical Fishes, Hardware…”
The entire world exists thanks only to a certain suspension of disbelief. This can break down suddenly and without warning, leaving you at the center of a maelstrom, an infantile attendee at a miasmic circus of lights and maniacal laughter.
never done nor undone
and without words, buried in the crux
of an empty high-rise building in New York, you
are the man of repetitions,
the harbinger of recurrent dreams,
the anonymous, indigenous calendric cycle,
inexact and unmarked;
not quite forgotten,
you are rather not yet lived—
deep green and embryonic amidst endless fields of crimson,
a deferred death,
an incarceration in a womb,
apart from apotheosis, embracing those ephemeral junctures
that lie beyond the ferrous light
whose boundary circumscribes your history
and your unheard,
In the breast of a steel lion rides a heart indistinguishable from a common clump of dormant tulip bulbs. When he runs, deferred fertility passes noiselessly over the plain of Africa, held prisoner by motion, embodied being, and the tyranny of ecological context. When he dies, the bulbs decay long before the body rusts into submission. They would not have grown anyway.
Libraries are spaces of learning, certainly, but they are also spaces that draw futility into exaggerated relief. Tonight, here, I see a universe I will never fully inherit, no matter how long and hard I try.
Also, I feel a little odd.
Not in a bad way, necessarily.