Went to sleep well after midnight, got up at 5.00, have been working since the moment I rolled out of bed. Now I will go to work, where I will work some more until 1.30 or so. Then I will study like mad until classes start at 4.00, in which I am tremendously behind both in theory and in practice. Those run until 8.00, after which I will pull out papers and type away madly until very late. Thursday morning I get up and go straight to school, where I continue to type away madly until submitting the next paper Thursday evening at class, which runs until 8.00. Then I go to a speaking event, after which I start reading Durkheim cover-to-cover?
Fuck that shit. The right answer is “then I go back uptown to The Abbey, have a couple nice ones, and go see a quiet film. Or maybe stay in and see a quiet film. Or maybe play around with photos all night.”
My lovely significant other is going to San Francisco for a few days. Dammit I wish I was going with her. I could use a dose of SF right now. I never thought I’d be wishing myself back to California, but this morning I feel like I’d absolutely love to be sitting around Fisherman’s Wharf gawking at tourists and feeding seagulls and reading Durkheim instead of thinking about spending a weekend inside the NSSR or I-House reading Durkhiem.
Funny thing about life… it never seems to really be unified, tied together. San Francisco represents a definite thread of my life that’s very far away right now. I suppose the same goes for everywhere but New York itself. Is this sensation of separation and lack of integration really as simple as “geographical distance?” Have I basically just rediscovered that yes, San Francisco is indeed far away from New York? Maybe I overcomplicate things.
I suppose there’s also temporal distance. Most of my “San Francisco life,” inasmuch as there is one (it’s always felt like there was) is also years back in the past. I haven’t been there in a real way since mid-2003, and I haven’t been there at my leisure since mid-2002. And those non-event (i.e. not wedding or funeral or whatever) family gatherings that used to happen haven’t really happened since sometime in the ’90s, I think. I don’t suppose those will really ever happen again—generations have shifted. If they are to happen, it will have to be my generation that organizes it, I suppose.
I’ve just opened the shade to find that it’s snowing in New York this morning.