Leapdragon 2016 - Aron Hsiao Was Here

(Of all things) The Chinese in Astoria Saga  §

Let me preface this by saying there’s no way I should be making this blog post. I don’t have the time. But oh well, what’s done is done, as they say (actually I shouldn’t say it yet, but rather after I finished this post since it really doesn’t justify what’s being done at the very moment, but oh well).

I have, to summarize before beginning, found my Chinese place in Astoria.

So I’m sitting here working on an exam that should have been done a long time ago, so that I can work on another exam that should have been done a long time ago for my students. My work day is way behind and I’m stressed out. Also, it’s time for lunch, so having no time, naturally, I decide to order for delivery.

Being in the habit of ordering Chinese (as previous posts have made clear), I pull out my wallet and find that today I actually have cash in it in useful denominations, so rather than being tied to the usual place that will run my debit card, I call a new place.

Being accustomed to the quality of food and proportions at the other (debit card) place, I order a lunch combo and a small appetizer item and two cans of soda. Eleven bucks. Well the man has just come and gone (less than ten minutes after the order) and I am shocked and bewildered to find myself surrounded by a ridiculous—nay, say instead ungodly amount of food!

This is not just “a lot,” because “a lot” is when you follow “that’s a lot of food” with “so I’ll be really full if I eat it all.” This is eleven bucks worth of “there is no way in Satan’s hell that I could finish this, even if I was being paid a million dollars to do so and ate until I couldn’t walk or breathe.”

Not only is the portion of the lunch combo huge (it’s a larger delivery container than the other place, and it’s packed and heaped high until it almost can’t close), the portion of the “appetizer” is the same size as the lunch combo, and they also threw in soup and fried noodles (the order receipt says “free with combo” next to these items), a free soda in addition to the two I ordered, and several boxes of rice and a fortune cookie. It must weigh around ten pounds, when all is said and done.

Clearly, we are not in Manhattan anymore, Toto.

And, to put a period on this particular anecdotal sentence, the food ain’t bad. I think this is the place in Astoria to order Chinese delivery from, but I’ve got to remember next time that unless I want to fill the fridge for a week, I need to keep my order as small an unassuming as possible… though, now that I think about it, they have a $10 delivery minimum, which is why I tacked the appetizer and sodas on in the first place.

Wow.