Leapdragon 2016 - Aron Hsiao Was Here

Late night thoughts on future selves  §

Simplify, simplify, simplify.

In my life, I display what at times like this I realize to be a series of undesired biases:

  • Toward complexity.

  • Toward ideological submission and complicity.
  • Toward self-alienation.

There is no reason, for example, for me to have dozens of separate folders in my mail client into which mail is filed, nor is there any reason for me to keep my entire mail archive dating back to 1996 or so online at all times.

So why do I do it? Stupidity and a bias toward complexity.

The same thing goes for the way I live. i am an elemental person if I am honest with myself. Stone and air, morning and evening, pages and words.

Somehow I can only (re)discover this for days at a time before invariably falling into many-years-long stretches of overcomplexity that gets married to a kind of void-filling category of exercises in which I do in excess all of those things that I hope will make me feel better but never do, and forget to do the two or three simple things in the universe that always make me feel better:

  • Write.

  • Read.
  • Explore.
  • Photograph.

These things are tough to justify when one is ideologically submerged; they are fruitless, lazy, unproductive, dreamy and unserious, immature, the playthings of children and people who don’t know their place.

I have to continually resurrect them, and when I lose track of them for even a little while, every aspect of my being suffers: physical health, emotional health, mental health.

I need to get this Ph.D., stabilize my life, simplify my life, and then settle down to do the things listed above, with simple teaching as my “day job.”

It . is . high . time . for . serious . changes .