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– Who I am

– What it means to be me

– Whether I will ever be okay with this

– What the problem is, exactly

– Why everything

It has been this way as long as I can remember. Nobody is happy. Everybody is happy. Nothing works. Everything works. And then nothing works again. And then everybody regrets it and wonders if there was a way to make everything work.

I think it comes down to: some people were born in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or rather, some people were socialized by parents to function in a different place and a different time.

It will never, ever be quite right. I know this by now.

I just hope it can be tolerable.

How do I feel?

Half cheetah, half gazelle.

Half policeman, half bank robber.

Half cancer, half chemotherapy.

Half exterminator, half cockroach.

We are all . fundamentally . alone .