There are four categories of whining and/or whiners in the world.
Non-whiners. These people simply continue apace, slow and steady, no complaints. Whiners of all kinds find them infuriating and unempathetic.
Whiners about situations. These people generally whine about the way something is or the way things are, applauding and overcomplimenting everyone involved as though human situations were the fault of the gods or the stars. They refuse to ascribe blame even to those who are clearly the cause of the situations about which they complain.
Whiners about people. These people are always convinced that at least a dozen things in immediate sight are some loser’s fault. It doesn’t matter just how troublesome these dozen things are—they can, in fact, be relatively minor—nor does it matter if everyone involved is actually in exactly the same boat. This kind of whiner tosses blame about even when there’s nothing in particular to be blamed for.
Whiners about everything. These people constantly whine about people and situations. They tend to think every situation is deficient (or, more likely, horrible) in some way and that everyone around (except them) can clearly be blamed for this deficiency or horribility. They are convinced that they have it worse than anyone else on the planet—nobody is more miserable or more put upon—and to suggest otherwise is to infuriate them and cause them to whine even more loudly.
There is no such thing as a minor whiner. People that you meet that seem only to whine “a little” are just hiding their private face from you, either because they’re in a public situation or because you’ve just met. There is no bigger split than that between the whiner and the non-whiner. It is catastrophic, transcendental—and unbridgeable. There is no changing from one thing to the other.
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Perhaps the most important and most overlooked aspect of social compatibility and the streamlining of social interactions and situations is whiner compatibility. Not only can whiners and non-whiners not be put together, but different kinds of whiners must generally be segregated from one another as well.
For example, to pair a person of type (2) above with a person of type (3) is to cause one to be horrified at all of the unfair aspersions being cast and the other to whine incessantly about the other’s inability to judge other people critically in all their faults. Both will feel as though the other has no empathy and, furthermore, does not deserve their respect, and the interaction (or any long-term relationship) will be strained as a matter of nature and course.