Leapdragon 2016 - Aron Hsiao Was Here

Utah II  §

© 2005 U.S. B.L.M.

I fight it. God knows I fight it, but there are days when I can’t escape the depression—the Utah depression. Days when it all just turns into paralysis and dreams of other places and other times.

On those days, it isn’t enough to say that I miss Queens. It’s more like I’m mostly still living there.

Certainly I’m not really living in Utah right now. I don’t know if I ever will. If I’m here until I’m 85, on my death bed I’ll be talking about when my temporary residence in the godforsaken wilderness of Utah will draw to a close.

— § —

Once, a million years ago, my parents almost moved to the bay area in California.

It’s silly and pointless to talk about, but there is still a teenage boy in me that is flailing about in a rage trying to make this happen retrospectively.

Why did my parents and extended family have to end up living in Utah, of all places?

— § —

I know. Grow up. Make the best of it. It’s not that bad. It’s all PTSD or something.

— § —

Fucking Utah.

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