Leapdragon 2016 - Aron Hsiao Was Here

In the Light  §

© 2005 Aron Hsiao

Funny how your experience of being in a place changes the way that music affects you.

In New York I listened to a lot of stereotypical New York stuff; it felt right. Hipster bands, electronica, prog. Sonic Youth, the White Stripes, the Walkmen.

When I was living in Chicago, I couldn’t stop listening to Einstuerzende Neubauten and the Smashing Pumpkins.

Now that I’m back in Utah, it’s all Led Zepplin and Soundgarden.

When the Levee Breaks and Zero Chance make absolutely no sense in Queens. In Utah, they are milk and honey. They are everything.

— § —

I am doing NaNoWriMo, but off the grid. It’s a model, silent participation, an impulse but not a community.

Today, however, I am taking the day off. Saturday is my “weekend” these days.

— § —

If you go enough places over a long enough period of time, you being to realize that there is no essential you; only a collection of preferences and habits subject to continuous change within certain narrow bounds.

— § —

The kids participation in Music Together has me interested in music theory again.

Modalities have captured my imagination.

This may also be supported by the renewed intered in Led Zeppelin.

The silly thing is that I no longer play any instrument at all, nor would I claim to, nor am I ever likely to try again in my lifetime, since music is simply not represented amongst the remaining items on my “things to do before I die” list.

— § —

In some ways, this is sad.

— § —

I forget that I am nearing the end of my ’30s. I honestly forget. I suppose that’s the way of things, but when you’re younger you never imagine that this might eventually be the case.

When I do remember, it helps me to recognize the things that I ought be embarrassed by and the things that I ought to prioritize.

— § —

In all my meta moments about writing, one thing I typically forget is that music feeds writing.

I need to hear more music in my life.

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As you get older, you begin to realize that you have tremendous difficulty recognizing what you actually think or feel about anything.

You always have done; you just didn’t conceptualize it this way as you made your decisions based primarily on identity-construction pursuits and various forms of status performance.

— § —

The leaves in autumn in Utah are not as inadequate as I thought when I was young, even in comparison to those in New England.

Sure, across New England there may be more intense colors, but the leaves in Utah, in their own spectral tendencies, somehow have a grittiness and an almost mystic intensity that New England lacks.

If New England is an autumn rainbow, Utah is autumn corrosion and oil stains. The latter are less romantic in many quarters, but have a protean depth and determination that rainbows precisely lack.

— § —

The human experience is an incredibly and insistently complex thing.