I can’t remember the last time I didn’t think, at around 10:00 in the morning, that tonight will be different—tonight I’ll go to bed early and get something more than the four or five hours of sleep I’ve been getting for the last several years.
I have failed again.
It’s 12:18 in the morning. It’s likely that the kids will have me up well before 6:00, not to mention interruptions for coughing, bad dreams, potty needs, drinks of water, or other things along the way.
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Not being able to get to bed earlier is emblematic of one of the larger themes in my life right now: a sense of helplessness married to a distinct lack of self-mastry and change skills.
This has to change.
It is the number one problem in my life right now: I am not my own master, or rather, the wrong facets of my self are my masters.
If it doesn’t change, things will not only not get better, but may get very much worse.
I suppose this is the classic life-long struggle: delf-discipline.
I deeply admire those that have it in spades. Me, I don’t even have it in a sieve.
— § —
The office is a disaster area. It must . be . cleaned . immediately if I am to stay productive on all fronts. Only problem—there is no alotted or possible time for it.
Just like everything else.
— § —
I had a BBS period.I had an IRC period.I had a LISTSERV period.I had a Slashdot period.I had a DailyKos period.
All are over now, for years.But sometimes I miss them.
— § —
It is startling to think of how long it has been since I was a “serious gamer.”
It is also startling to realize that I have no desire whatsoever to play video games of any kind ever again.