Leapdragon 2016 - Aron Hsiao Was Here

The problem, the weight  §

General malaise is creeping in. The Utah general malaise. The career general malaise.

Two years ago in NYC, I was motivated, driven, productive, ambitious.

Now I am struggling to care one way or another.

It is killing productivity. Not good.

— § —

Problem is, things don’t look the way that I want them to look, and I can’t quite see how to get back on track.

The goal setters say that you need to break things down into teeny, tiny steps, and then the big shifts and projects in life are more approachable.

All of this presumes you have some idea what the teeny, tiny steps ought to be. I don’t.

Just decisions that I’m not willing to make.

— § —

Not happy.

I have to get some guts and be proactive about something.

But I just don’t want to.

Really, I don’t.

That’s bad.

— § —

Some days I really regret that week in Queens. Worst week in my life, in retrospect. Changed everything, for the worse; may never get back on track.

Defeatist thinking, yes.

Feeling defeated.