I haven’t written anything here in some time, mainly because I’ve been ridiculously busy. In addition to work at Terapeak and About, I’ve also taken on Public Seminar. It’s been a lot. And there have been extracurriculars on top of it all, like hospital trips (youngest and his asthma) and holidays. Not to mention the academic career and dissertation, cherry on top.
But we’ve been managing. Nothing that hasn’t been seen before. In fact, none of this would have caused me to say a thing; it’s been more or less status quo now for well over a month, going on two.
Under normal circumstances, I’d have gone on plodding along tonight as I tend to do.
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But here’s the thing. And no, I’m not drunk, nor am I high, nor have I had a conversion of some sort.
But something is off enough that I’m writing tonight.
It has been a weird week.
It has been a weirder day.
And it has been a downright troubling evening.
I can’t put my finger on just why. Now I sound self-indulgent, or overdramatic. But I’m writing because I’m not normally given to that sort of stuff in my everyday life, at least not at the personal level. (I’ve been known to wax poetical, as the hillbillies say, about politics or science.)
But I’m bothered. Bothered tonight. I have a deep sense of foreboding. I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t know where it comes from. I don’t know what it’s about.
I think others can sort of sense it, too. Everyone is under the weather emotionally, a bit glum, a bit stretched and strung. WTF?!
I’m not superstitious.
I hope this, whatever it is—change in the weather, collective psychology, simple ups and downs of family life that we’re encountering in a new way, holiday hangover, whatever—dissipates by tomorrow.
But in the meantime, I felt strongly enough about this that I want it on the record for myself, down the road, in case I need to wonder: “Have I ever felt this way before? Unnnnngggghhh.”
Yes. Yes, if it ever comes up again, you have. This is how you felt on November 1st, 2013. Not pretty, and very strange.