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Monthly Archives: June 2014

It’s a mess, it’s all a mess  §

I am a person without goals right now.

That’s good, in that it means that I’ve largely achieved the major goals that I’ve previously set out to achieve. But it also means that I’m in danger. At risk.

— § —

There’s also the bullshit level. As in—corporate life is bullshit; academics is bullshit.

I was turned on to Hercules and the Umpire today. This is inspiring. This is not bullshit.

I have to escape bullshit.

Once I did. It was all that I did. I took a certain amount of pride in it.

Recalibration was necessary—not least in order to achieve goals—but now it is time to return to me. Me.

ME.

— § —

Oh, what’s that? People with Ph.D. degrees and public personas don’t use four-letter words?

Are you telling me that you don’t have the slightest inkling that the world today is deserving of a few four-letter words?

WAKE UP. IT IS GOING TO SHIT.

No joke. Don’t analyze it. Don’t empeiricize it. Don’t look for the primary sources. Don’t run a regression or look for the R-squared value.

Trust your eyes and your ears for a change.

SHIT.

— § —

Not that I want to come off as a narcissist. But what kind of world do we live in, if anyone that has a personality or an individual thought of any kind is automatically an unemployable narcissist? I’ll tell you what kind of world. The kind of world with a one percent and a 99 percent. The kind of world with climate change. The kind of world with the Koch brothers in it.

— § —

It’s all nonsense. Part of my problem right now is that I have no heroes. I shit on the politicians. I shit on the academics. I shit on the corporatists. There is no sector of society in which people demonstrate anything inspiring. The monks, maybe. But even they have become mercenaries.

We live in a petty, petty world.

Some will say that it has always been petty, that all of the people in it have always been petty, that every part of it has always been petty, that they sky has always been petty, that the sea has always been petty, that petty, petty, petty, petty, PETTY, PETTY, PET FUCKING TY FUCKING TY FUCKING TY.

Well I refuse. I refuse. I refuse. I refuse.

— § —

Sure I’ll do the stuff. I have to eat. My family has to eat.

But I’m determined to chart a course on my own, somehow.

— § —

My life, in all likelihood, is more than halfway over sometime this year, if not sooner.

It is time to do something deliberate once again.

No idea how my wife will take this. The nature of the world that we live in is such that anyone that says they want to do something real, something genuine, something important, is labeled a miscreant and a malcontent and a pre-pubescent, and so on.

— § —

Fuck all of them. I haven’t said that in years, and it sounds and feels good. It’s all nonsense. All of it. The solutions are easy; it’s the idiots that are hard.

— § —

“Happiness is being able to tell the truth without ever hurting anyone.”

(Guido)

— § —

Time . to . turn . the . fucking . page . again .