I used to share more about what I did on a day-to-day basis here. There was introspection, yes, but there was also daily narrative.
Over the years, as I read back through this thing, that has become less and less true.
This tells me that as I have become older, and as I have gained experience (or, perhaps: trauma), rather than “getting me out of my shell” and “connecting me more to the world,” the effect has been the opposite.
The more experience I have, the less solidly everyday activities are represented in my psyche, and the more important cognition, emotion, and abstraction are in my understanding of the world, of myself, and of time as it passes.
This is not the way it’s supposed to happen, is it?
— § —
A post like this terrifies me, because it’s the sort of post that is most likely to drive my wife to second-guess our togetherness. And yet it is what it is.
So I will publish it.