Leapdragon 2016 - Aron Hsiao Was Here

When it breaks…  §

News of David Bowie’s passing hit the press late last night.

I am still feeling shattered. Why?

Because he got it right. Because David Bowie is one of the few people anywhere in modern life that seems to have got it right. Honesty, creativity, maturity, insight, beauty, commitment to family, productivity, longevity… David Bowie was reassurance that a good life was possible. He was one of the good guys, one of the prophets.

One of the few in recent generations.

Someone on Facebook (Zachary Sundermann) said that they had thought he’d live forever, that it didn’t occur to them that Bowie was mortal. I feel it, too. It seems unjust. It subverts the morality tale that lies at the heart of civilization. The bad ones are supposed to die, not the good ones. Not the heroes and the angels. But gone he is.

Still feeling shattered.

— § —

Things:

– Men have never been afraid of womens’ sexuality; what we are afraid of is womens’ hearts
– I have not had a “normal” day since sometime in the spring of 2015
– I am not convinced that I will ever have a normal day again
– It is hardest when I have the kids, because somehow that’s when I feel most apart from her
– Life is both easy and hard: the rules are easy to learn, but it’s hard to follow them
– Radiohead’s “Creep” is hard for a beginning guitarist to get right
– Every now and then I can sing; the rest of the time, I absolutely can’t
– I am totally unfulfilled in my professional life, and I lie about it constantly
– Prime 35mm equivalent field of view lenses are my favorite lenses in the world
– I have not had Thai food in a very long time
– I read blogs about the world’s best hamburgers for an hour last night
– Just before we separated, I ordered a bunch of supplements
– I still haven’t opened any of them; they are sitting on my desk
– “Just before we separated” is the strangest phrase in all of creation
– I have become a mechanical wristwatch enthusiast
– Orient is my marque of choice, largely because it’s both cheap and high-quality
– You lose your guitar callouses within a week if you stop playing
– The material world has an inertia that is incompatible with the emotional world
– Mondays are always hard, as are Tuesdays
– I miss her—God how I miss her
– I believe less in “right” and “wrong” than I ever have before in my life
– The aquarium has not been serviced in weeks and it is my fault
– At some very, very deep level, I am a misanthropist who thinks humans are bad
– Sometimes I struggle to do what needs to be done
– And even when I do it, I struggle with the consequences
– Kids love—love, without restraint—peanut butter and jelly
– I have spent all of today trying to switch off my brain and feelings
– It is 2016. 2016!

That’s all for now.