I am socially awkward.
I bristle when people tell me this, but so help me I am. Not in the “weird quiet guy” way, but in the “people don’t know what to make of me” and the “they can tell that I’m not entirely engaged in the same way as them” way. So help me it’s true.
I can work a crowd of hundreds until they’re eager to invade the deepest circle of hell by my side armed only with toothpicks, a hairbrush, and an assortment of broken shoelaces. And I’m comfortable standing in front of them and grandstanding. But in small groups or one-on-one, I’m never quite comfortable.
At this point in my life, I should accept that this is probably not going away.