When is the right time? Always? Never?
Who is the right person? Everyone? No one?
All the wistfulness in the world won’t make Humpty Dumpty into anyone but who he is.
I’ve been saying I’m too old for this for twenty years.
How does a life get to be what it is?
And what can be done about it?
I’ve watched others become doctors, lawyers, artists… Seen them ascend to stable heights.
What I want to know is who held the straws, who drew them, and what it all comes to in the end.
I want to be at the end and see how it all turns out.
I’d love to have had a hand in it.
Is that a sin?
Is there such a thing as sin?
Would be world be any different if there was?
So long as there are people, nothing can ever be saved.
— § —
For most of my life, everything has been rather painful. I’m an introvert, I can handle it. I’ll just stare at some leaves and pet some pond Koi and write some bad poetry. I’ll read the Tao te Ching and talk to the moon and listen to the sound of my steps in the grass. I know how to do all of that stuff.
But sometimes I wonder… Why? What can I do to change this?
Or is this just how it is?
— § —
What if I took a day and quit… everything?
Cancelled every subscription. Quit every job. Ended every friendship. Discarded every possession.
Tore layers and layers away until I was just a man, standing naked on a road somewhere, with nothing to my name and no attachments whatsoever?
What then? What if I quit everything?