Leapdragon 2016 - Aron Hsiao Was Here

Quote of unknown origin.  §

“Frustration that is allowed to fester turns into anger.
Anger that is allowed to fester turns into bitterness.
Bitterness that is allowed to fester turns into resentment.
Resentment that is allowed to fester turns into hatred.”

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The older I get, the more conservative I get. Still on the left side of the aisle. But no longer identifying with everything wholesale.

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Things that are going on:

  • Photography is coming back into my life.

  • I am haltingly embarking on new spiritual pathways.

  • I am coming to separate “social left” from “economic left” in my own identity, and re-evaluating what I think about much in politics and the public sphere. In particular, I am more and more suspicious of victimhood, of discussions of the “self” and “self nurturing,” and of terms like “conscious” and “enlightened” and so on. I am beginning to understand arguments that others have made about this being a very narcissistic society.

  • I am trying to figure out how to arrive at honesty, and transparency with the world, without a lot of destruction. It is painful to lose one’s identity, to find that it no longer quite fits, and at the same time, that is the sort of thing that needs to be done.

  • I am seeing more and more bullshit, everywhere I look. It is hard not to look around and not just see so much bullshit in our culture and society right now.

  • I am trying to think directly and with clear eyes about the second half of my life and what I want to do with it.

A lot of changes will have to be made. I am no longer who I was a decade ago, and there is no going back. I am officially becoming “old” in many ways; the young me would have disliked the old me that I am becoming. But it is who I am becoming.

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Put it this way: If everything that I have been and have believed has led me to a cul-de-sac with which I am not at all hapoy, then it is time to interrogate and challenge all that I have been and have believed.

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“We all become a well-disguised mirror image of anything that we fight too long or too directly. That which we oppose determines the energy and frames the questions after a while. You lose all your inner freedom.” (Richard Rohr)