Seriously, how many “worst days ever” have I had over the last three or four years, and especially over the last year?
And yet they get worse and worse, for everyone. I have historically been a resilient person, but the weight is getting to be impossible to bear.
What gives? When will there finally be a “best day ever” once again? It is so very long overdue that it’s almost intolerable!
I am tired of waking up with stoicism and courage. I want to wake up with joy and anticipation. Is that so much to ask?
It doesn’t even have to be big joy and anticipation. I’ll settle for just a little joy and anticipation. Just a little bit?
Come on, life. Come on, God. Come on, universe. Surely we have all had enough at this point?
— § —
I don’t know what to say or do. I am honestly at a blank, at an impasse. I haven’t been this clueless since I was a kid.
— § —
If there was some way to say “I accept absolutely any state of affairs and any outcome so long as I can skip the next five years!” I would do so.
There is no point to them.
But obviously I can’t.
— § —
If I could press rewind and return to fall semester 2003 to start all over again from there, I would.
I guess that’s what people mean when they say, “If I knew then what I know now…”
But of course I didn’t. And you don’t. Nobody ever does.