Sometimes resentment creeps in. I try not to let it, but by god, sometimes it just does. I suppose it will always be that way.
So much sacrifice. So much self-negation, trying to live up to things, chipping away at my future in the process for so many years. And now of course I am well off the path, not sure what to do. There are times when I feel as though I was stupid in all of the ways that my elders always told me not to be.
No, I’m not bitter, but I do realize just how much I’ve given up, and just how little the sacrifices are understood or appreciated by anyone but myself.
It’s a hollow thing to destroy yourself for others in ways that they can’t fully appreciate. Hollow and pointless. Word to the wise, for the young: don’t do it. Stick to your plan. The presence of other people can’t compensate for you being yourself and putting your life in order.
And anyone that appears to need you to disarrange your life is probably not someone that it makes sense for you to spend much time with, no fault of theirs or yours. It just can’t be good for anyone in the end.