1) Not following the “no women” rule when I arrived in NYC for graduate school.
2) Leaving NYC. The reason doesn’t matter. Bad, bad mistake.
3) Stopping teaching. Another bad mistake.
I am at a point in my life at which it no longer makes any sense to “try to do the right thing by others.” I have had a lifetime of that. It leads nowhere good. It leads to enabling others to essentially dictate your life.
I’m happy to do the right thing, period. But the “for others” part usually ends up not being about a right thing on moral or ethical or even reasoned grounds, but rather being about satisfying their strong preferences and their own emotional foibles by amending my own life. I was raised to be this way. I have done it over and over again over twenty-five years. It has to stop. There is nothing edifying about it. It is a way to virtue-signal that was practiced by my parents. Virtue-signalling is an empty hobby.
Let others suck eggs. Live your own life. That’s my advice to the young.