Sometimes the best thing you can do is cut . fucking . bait .
On a marriage. On a day. On a friendship. On a credit line. On a project. On whatever.
© Aron Hsiao / 2006
Anything can become a rabbit hole, given the chance, and one of the key (and most distressing) skills in life is to be able to recognize the moment at which you’ve entered the maze—at which it only gets worse from here no matter what you do. The best you can do, at such moments, is to literally run in the other direction. To separate yourself from the context entirely, because it is the least bad option for everyone.
There’s a popular trope that people who run from situations of whatever kind are cowards, but this isn’t always the case. Sometimes they are towers of fortitude who are cutting bait despite incredible pain and sadness because they realize that running is the only way to make something better, not just for themselves, but for whomever is left behind, too.
This is not an easy thing to do. Much easier to hang around and wander, maudlin and self-absorbed and woe-is-me, through the maze.
It takes guts to do what needs to be done. And it can hurt. A lot.
Never think less of someone for keeping their mouth shut and themselves to themselves, because they may well be straining behind the scenes to preserve this state of affairs, aware that the alternative is far worse.
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I need to get stronger. Harder. Less susceptible to things.
Yes, harder and less susceptible even in comparison to now. It is the healthy way, for everyone. You play the cards you are dealt.
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Shit day and shit week. Intense. High-pressure. Low-time. Low-success. Low-satisfaction.
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This gloomy fuck-up of a blog post was brought to you by capitalism, middle age, modernity, and divorce.
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Speaking of, the worst dimension of divorce by far is when your kids adopt the behaviors of your ex. No doubt this runs in both directions. All those little things you so weren’t able to live with? They’re going to be a part of your life forever, now embedded in the people who are absolutely closest to you and who depend on you utterly.
So you have to find the way that you couldn’t the first time around to make peace with having those personality quirks in your life, right up under your wing feathers.
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Sometimes there just isn’t enough of you to go around.
Not for your kids. Not for your friends. Not for your employer. Not for your banks. Not for yourself.
When those times hit, what you mostly want to do is disappear entirely.