So I’m three days in to one of the strangest things I’ve ever done.
What is it?
I went on a road trip with my ex-wife when directly asked to do so for practical reasons.
Who does something like that? A fool, that’s who. One thing a fool never quite seems to do is to learn the lessons that life throws his way. I am such a fool. At times I could swear that I’ve failed to learn every major lesson life has ever tried to throw at me.
I do believe that I am terrible at learning lessons.
How strange is it?
Her boyfriend was asked along at the last minute, once the trip had already been announced to the kids so that it was too late to back out. So I am on a road trip with my ex-wife and her boyfriend.
Not that he was super-pleased about it, either. I suppose the world is full of fools like us.
— § —
I’d just like to point out that this is sort of ridiculous cabaret is where “enlightenment” and “wokeness” and “being adults” leads.
Which is why I’m off the bus.
I have been unenlightened behind the scenes for some years now, and some of my friends know, but it hasn’t quite been a public thing. The moment is right, right now, for a coming-out party. From here on out, you can regard me as:
- A different person than I was for years
Despite the foolishness, there are some things I’m glad of on this trip:
- Glad to spend time with my children
- Glad to be of service
- Glad to have a moment to get to know their mother’s boyfriend better
- Glad to have the extra nudge needed to get me to really embrace what I really think
And what I really think is that everyone who tries to separate the world into spheres of “adult” and “child” basically has dirty laundry that they’re trying desperately to launder.
Here’s a bit of a bomb:
- What’s fit for children is fit for adults.
- What isn’t fit for children isn’t fit for adults unless time-honored tradition (i.e. thousands of years) says otherwise.
The world of “adults” and “adulting” is basically a world full of people who are desperately trying to stop rejecting themselves for the ugliness that they can see only too well in the world around them and in the lives that they lead.
— § —
Hate me all you want. I’m okay.
I’ve been hated. I’ve been hated, intimately for years on end. I am generally immune to hate. That’s another thing I’m thankful for.
— § —
When I was a kid, people used to say that when in doubt, the right thing was simply to do “the right thing.”
Years of education tried to persuade me that this phrase was naive. It worked, for a good long time. And then, finally, a few years ago, it didn’t.
Doing the right thing is, in fact, a thing. A thing that a vanishingly small number of people actually do, but a thing nonetheless.
In our society today, everyone has let themselves off the hook, for everything.
I’m not here to condemn or call anyone out. Only to say that I don’t believe that it works.
Oh, people may try to let themselves off the hook. They’ll read books. Attend therapy. Talk to friends. Adopt a fancy new age philosophies or eastern religions or organic vitamins that have nothing to do with their culture or actual science and that they only barely understand anyway.
Yes, I’m essentially describing the entire Western world at this point.
But they know. They all know.
That’s why they have to keep pointedly “letting themselves off the hook” every single day. Why they’re always trying to find new ways to let themselves off the hook.
Because without even having to think very deeply about it, they understand intuitively that, despite best efforts, they are still in fact “on the hook” in every way.
Sure, you can try to let yourself off the hook—but everyone knows better than that, deep down. Everyone is the progeny of a deeper truth and reality, one that stretches back to time immemorial.
— § —
Oh yes, there is truth.
It’s not “your” truth, and it’s not “my” truth.
You see, it isn’t the truth that becomes an orphan once someone stops believing in it…
— § —
Strange. Yes, I’ve done something strange. I’m having a strange week. It may as well be in Los Angeles, the strangest place on earth.
Judge? We are all called to judge.
That’s what it means to be the kinds of creatures that we are. To fail to judge is to fail to live up to our essence and purpose. We are creatures with judgment, first and foremost.
— § —
There are approximately zero good people left. I’m trying to increase that number by one—just the fool in the corner here, who does foolish things, trying to be better. Feel free to judge me, only please tell me of your judgment—otherwise, it’s all for naught.