耀
a
r
o
4
e
d
g
2
l
p
a
n

a
r
o
n
h
s
i
a
o
w
a
s
h
e
r
e

 

 

I just finished writing my last paper for the semster. I think I’m going to go and have a congratulatory drink. Oh, wait… Still have finals next week. *pffffffbbbt* Drink later. Study now.

Latest re-discovery: Stone Temple Pilots.

Yup… America… Still the same country that brought you arms-for-hostages trading, overbombings of eastern Europe, Waco, and Ruby Ridge. Everybody keep your bulletproof vests ready, especially if you’re six.

Well… My final tax bill, state plus federal, for 1999? (drum roll) Only $7100! Hallelujia! I’m so gratified that I can be of help to the largest underclass in the world — the civic servants! Someone bring me my mat, that I might pray!

(grumble)

I looked in the mirror as was feeling a little droopy so I’ve started working out regularly (or as regular as one can get in a few days) every night. And in the process, I’ve rediscovered… AC/DC! Oh yes! There is nothing better when you’re covered with sweat and full of adrenaline than AC/DC! Moneytalks! Who Made Who! I’m going to start wearing a necktie and short pants. It’s irresistible.

Also: Monty Python! Know what I mean? Eh? Eh? Know what I mean?

The republic of the soul! That is what I am after, by God! If you have no idea what I’m talking about, read Edith Wharton’s The House Of Mirth for enlightenment. Enlightenment! That is also what I am after, by God…

And still, there is a twisting of the consciousness, a remaining disfigurement from her leaving. It is nearly an internal Panopticon — it causes me to observe myself uninterruptedly from center outward to every bizarre detail, in what should by all rights be the utter height of self-consciousness, but for the fact that I myself am unaware at times of the gaze. Where do I go from here, and what do I hold at each extreme that will help me to arrive? Do I ring like a bell? Am I the resurrection?

There is no solace in the indulgence of anachronism anymore; nor in company. I have no idea where relief can be found, or whether I would even employ it were I able to find it. An interesting problem, to say the least.

I’ve bought myself a hat.

It’s 4:00 in the morning and instead of staying up to do my homework like I was supposed to, I stayed up and played around with my home page. There’s a bunch of new stuff in the “About Me” section of the page, for anyone that’s interested. (Is anybody out there?) Well… Off to bed.

An interesting memory hit me in the face tonight… I was sitting around minding my own business when I happened to think of the first time I said the words “I love you” to J—, way back in 1995. Her response to me then? She said “I’m sorry…” in a tone filled with pity and sorrow. If only I had quit then… Oh well. I didn’t.

Not much going on lately. I’ve been working a lot, and the semester is going to end soon, so I’m trying to just sort of zone out and become productive for a three week stretch, after which I can collapse and maybe even die of exhaustion and lethargy, if I’m lucky. One thing did go on: David, a guy I consider to be a very, very good friend stopped in to visit along with Josh, another old friend. It was definitely all right. David, stop in again soon. Josh… I don’t have your phone number. What is it? Duh… Here I sit writing this on the Web. I’ll write you an e-mail.

Archives »

March 2024
February 2024
January 2024
December 2023
November 2023
October 2023
September 2023
May 2023
April 2023
March 2023
January 2023
December 2022
November 2022
August 2022
June 2022
May 2022
April 2022
March 2022
January 2022
December 2021
November 2021
September 2021
April 2021
March 2021
February 2021
January 2021
December 2020
November 2020
October 2020
September 2020
August 2020
July 2020
June 2020
May 2020
April 2020
March 2020
February 2020
January 2020
December 2019
November 2019
October 2019
September 2019
August 2019
July 2019
May 2019
April 2019
March 2019
February 2019
January 2019
December 2018
November 2018
October 2018
September 2018
August 2018
July 2018
June 2018
May 2018
April 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
October 2017
September 2017
August 2017
July 2017
June 2017
May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
December 2016
November 2016
October 2016
September 2016
August 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
April 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
June 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
September 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
March 2012
December 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
April 2011
March 2011
February 2011
December 2010
November 2010
October 2010
September 2010
August 2010
July 2010
June 2010
May 2010
April 2010
March 2010
February 2010
January 2010
December 2009
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
January 2009
December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
February 2002
January 2002
December 2001
November 2001
October 2001
September 2001
July 2001
June 2001
May 2001
April 2001
March 2001
February 2001
January 2001
December 2000
November 2000
October 2000
September 2000
August 2000
July 2000
June 2000
May 2000
April 2000
March 2000
February 2000
January 2000
December 1999
November 1999