I just finished writing my last paper for the semster. I think I’m going to go and have a congratulatory drink. Oh, wait… Still have finals next week. *pffffffbbbt* Drink later. Study now.
Latest re-discovery: Stone Temple Pilots.
I just finished writing my last paper for the semster. I think I’m going to go and have a congratulatory drink. Oh, wait… Still have finals next week. *pffffffbbbt* Drink later. Study now.
Latest re-discovery: Stone Temple Pilots.
Yup… America… Still the same country that brought you arms-for-hostages trading, overbombings of eastern Europe, Waco, and Ruby Ridge. Everybody keep your bulletproof vests ready, especially if you’re six.
Well… My final tax bill, state plus federal, for 1999? (drum roll) Only $7100! Hallelujia! I’m so gratified that I can be of help to the largest underclass in the world — the civic servants! Someone bring me my mat, that I might pray!
(grumble)
I looked in the mirror as was feeling a little droopy so I’ve started working out regularly (or as regular as one can get in a few days) every night. And in the process, I’ve rediscovered… AC/DC! Oh yes! There is nothing better when you’re covered with sweat and full of adrenaline than AC/DC! Moneytalks! Who Made Who! I’m going to start wearing a necktie and short pants. It’s irresistible.
Also: Monty Python! Know what I mean? Eh? Eh? Know what I mean?
The republic of the soul! That is what I am after, by God! If you have no idea what I’m talking about, read Edith Wharton’s The House Of Mirth for enlightenment. Enlightenment! That is also what I am after, by God…
And still, there is a twisting of the consciousness, a remaining disfigurement from her leaving. It is nearly an internal Panopticon — it causes me to observe myself uninterruptedly from center outward to every bizarre detail, in what should by all rights be the utter height of self-consciousness, but for the fact that I myself am unaware at times of the gaze. Where do I go from here, and what do I hold at each extreme that will help me to arrive? Do I ring like a bell? Am I the resurrection?
There is no solace in the indulgence of anachronism anymore; nor in company. I have no idea where relief can be found, or whether I would even employ it were I able to find it. An interesting problem, to say the least.
I’ve bought myself a hat.
It’s 4:00 in the morning and instead of staying up to do my homework like I was supposed to, I stayed up and played around with my home page. There’s a bunch of new stuff in the “About Me” section of the page, for anyone that’s interested. (Is anybody out there?) Well… Off to bed.
An interesting memory hit me in the face tonight… I was sitting around minding my own business when I happened to think of the first time I said the words “I love you” to J—, way back in 1995. Her response to me then? She said “I’m sorry…” in a tone filled with pity and sorrow. If only I had quit then… Oh well. I didn’t.
Not much going on lately. I’ve been working a lot, and the semester is going to end soon, so I’m trying to just sort of zone out and become productive for a three week stretch, after which I can collapse and maybe even die of exhaustion and lethargy, if I’m lucky. One thing did go on: David, a guy I consider to be a very, very good friend stopped in to visit along with Josh, another old friend. It was definitely all right. David, stop in again soon. Josh… I don’t have your phone number. What is it? Duh… Here I sit writing this on the Web. I’ll write you an e-mail.
§ Under the leaves, soil. Under the soil, stone. Under the stone, souls.
§ Radically empowering individuals in society may be the worst mistake we ever made.
§ Want to be a radical? Refuse to suffer. Then, wait for the assault.
§ Goodbye 2017, part two. (The real part.)
§ Sometimes you find home where you’ve never been—and you dwell where you aren’t.
§ The self can’t play Atlas for postmodernity because science is now supernatural.
§ Rehab is universal. So is history.
§ Identity, transcendence, and tactics.
§ Untitled. (a.k.a. Pretty faces, new old photos.)