So I’ve had a couple of e-mails about my last entry saying that Christians are evil.
Well… I was just listening to a conservative commentator on public media explaining that all non-Christians are going to hell, period, no matter how good they are — and that all it takes to go to heaven is a belief in Christ, no matter how bad you are, because you don’t have to be perfect to be saved, you only have to be a sincere believer.
So… According to this particular religious leader, in hell one finds Ghandi, Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, Buddha, every one of the Lamas (remember, Christians don’t believe in reincarnation), Muhammad, Sartre, John Lennon, Hobbes, Voltaire, Hume, Paine, Percy Shelley, Darwin, Lincoln, Marx, Andrew Carnegie, Edison, Freud, Frank Lloyd Wright, Robert Frost, James Joyce, Charlie Chaplin, Ernest Hemmingway, Langston Hughes, Albert Camus, Richard Feynman, Frank Zappa, Li Bai, Du Fu, Wang Wei and the other great poets, Confucious, Benjamin Franklin, Hin-mah-too-yah-lat-kekt and the other great chiefs too numerous to mention, and two of my grandparents — and all of this just off the top of my head. I’m sure there are some worthy names in heaven as well, but at least it sounds like I could find some agreeable company in hell without too much trouble.
Meanwhile, our number one evil in history, Herr Hitler, will apparently be found in heaven. That’s a big black eye for heaven, as far as I’m concerned. Pair him off with an army of crusaiders and KKK members and in spite of how great God and Jesus-boy might be, I think I still prefer to go hang out in hell with the crowd I mentioned earlier, thanks.
In fact, I’d venture to say that anyone who actually wants to go to heaven and hang around with the likes of Vlad the Impaler and Bloody Mary (forgetting, for a moment, our dear Adolf) is probably not a very moral person. Okay, so I’ll admit, we down in hell will have Josef, but… on balance, I think the list of crusaiders and Nazis probably does heaven one better. And anyway, we get both Anne Frank and the now famous Oskar Schindler, as well as Leon Trotsky, so we hellians keep the moral high ground regardless.
So… you bloody uppity Christians… Go to heaven!