The city cowboy. Everyone living in the western half of the United States has seen one. They’re everywhere. Let’s face it, there’s no practical application for spurs or an ammo belt when you’re riding on a city bus. But here in Salt Lake City, we have a special variety of city cowboys that inspire copious amounts of pity.
I was in Dallas and Austin this summer. They have city cowboys there, too… but the city cowboys in Texas drink Coronas, have local authentic Mexican food smothered in habanero peppers for dinner, wear silver-and-turquoise jewelry, curse like sailors when their beer runs out and don’t need any woman’s love to get by.
By comparison, the city cowboys in Salt Lake City drink caffiene-free diet Coke, have Taco Bell for dinner (and tear up after half a packet of mild sauce), wear little green ‘CTR’ (‘Choose The Right’) rings as jewelry, say “Awww, nuts! I’m out!” when their caffiene-free cola runs out… and every last one of them married a girl indistinguishable from their mother when they were eighteen years old.