I’m sitting here in economics because (of course) they have the gear: tables, couches, lots of space, etc. And of course they are utter bastards. I’ve been watching these people “socialize” for twenty minutes. Cut each other off, ignore each other, act insensitively and narcissistically and generally seem like assholes. Sure I can be self-important and sure I can be a bastard, but dammit I’m sensitive or at least self-aware while I do it. Or I look better while I do it. Or something. I’m positive I don’t come off like this. What is it about the culture of economics departments (and MBA programs, too) that makes people like this? It’s been that way at every university I’ve attended.
Nevermind, I suppose that was rhetorical and I don’t actually need an answer.
Meanwhile, I cannot for the life of me stop smiling like a fucking Cheshire cat.
For a few minutes now I have been reflecting on how much happier I have been here than I was there. The farther east I go in this country, the more happy I become. I should absolutely never, ever, for any reason, go back to California, and I should avoid Utah except for in emergencies. Christ.
Blah, blah, my posting right now is clearly a way for me to postpone necessary acts of work.
If I had brought one of the cameras with me today, I would skip class and take the ferry to Ellis island, just because. Dammit I gotta carry these things with me at all times.