for a big, long blog post. It’s been a while since I made one, I think, and so many things are going on and have happened that it’s beginning to feel as though I’ll never catch up.
I’m sitting at my kitchen table with my dog at my side looking out the window at snow falling in New York. One of the neighbors in the building is playing Christmas music. I can’t make out any words, but there’s just enough rise and fall and rhythm and melody to what I can hear to fill the morning unmistakably with the feel of the holidays. It’s warm and cheerful, despite my slight sniffle. It could even be called lovely or festive.
The slight sniffle was actually a hell of a sniffle just a couple of days ago and still seems continually to threaten to turn into something larger. My lovely wife is, I think, less recovered than I and is taking it easy this morning trying to shake the damn thing off.
It is a wonderful thing to be married. It is an even more wonderful thing, I suspect, to be married to the same person twice. The Poland wedding is still on, still the “main event” at which the families will meet. But we have indeed done something a bit earlier in Salt Lake City, place of places, so they say.
There is so very much to do in my “real” life, my non-couples life, and yet every day seems a little bit more subordinate to and less important than my life as half of a couple, our life as two people trying to work our ways through this little corner of history with two families and a dog along for the ride.
It is actually quite tough right now to return to the routine. Coughing and fevers make it difficult of course, but even if we’d returned in perfect health I suspect we’d be sitting here wasting time and talking by the window rather than doing what needs to be done.
Real life will, of course, establish its ascendancy once more. After all, bills have to be paid. Jobs have to be kept. Work must be done, or you’ll find yourself living (or dying) on the street. But for the moment, even with eyes glued shut by illness and noses as red as they come, we are enjoying our brief view from the apex, from the top of the mountain, the top of the world, together. We’ll soon fall back into the hills and valleys of the everyday, but we’ll hopefully make it back to the top at least once more in August, perhaps even a higher peak than this (already very impressive) one.
I suppose I have to go now. There are stacks of papers to be graded, final papers to give input on, lessons to prepare, readings for my own classes to do, multiple (in some cases overdue) papers to write, articles to come up with, bills to pay, hours at work to prepare for… In fact, there is no possible way to catch up, no human way at all even when healthy, so there’s nothing for it but to get to work and start at the beginning and see how far I get.
Probably a few things will break. That’s okay. We’ll fix that shit together, one day at a time.