is the process of learning how to be so out of touch with your feelings that you can never, ever articulate them—and in so doing to avoid damaging your long term interests in the interest of the moment. The long term interests, of course, are ephemeral and exist only in the future, by definition, always.
Modern society is instrumentally insane. Citizens of modern society are instrumentally stunted in their growth, purposefully.
I am conflicted, torn between a desire for total freedom and a desire for total control.
I am conflicted, torn between a hate for humanity and a love for it.
I am conflicted, and this conflict is the gravity center of truth, which is not so much a measurable, usable quantity as it is primordial tragedy, undramatic, unliterary, unexpressable, unfulfilled.
Tomorrow never, ever comes. All that arrives, over and over again, is today and today’s defenses are always weak in the face of tomorrow’s domineering power.