ideologically compromised, nowhere more obviously than in confusing personal “strength” and “weakness.” The things that they equate with “strength” (i.e. “sucking it up,” separation between public and private, etc.) are actually serious weakness requiring no backbone whatsoever.
The things that actually require strength—asserting that you are a real person with a real life, standing up for yourself and your loved ones despite consequences—they equate with weakness.
I am here to say, and I say in public:
It is strength to stand up for yourself, even if it means you are fired; it is strength to live your personal life, even in a public place where it’s under scrutiny or where it reduces your status; it is strength to be the very same person both at work and at home.
It is weakness to “suck it up,” to take the easy way out by playing cool or “being one of the crowd” (read: peer pressure) at work; it is weakness to separate your public and private lives.
This weakness is one of the primary dominating modes of capitalism.
I am strong. I refuse to have a public self and a private self. I refuse to sacrifice my family for my job, or vice-versa. I will stand in the wind and be hated and ridiculed for as long as I am alive if necessary.
There is no public me, and there is no private me. There is no “single me” as separate from “married me.” There is no “employee” as separate from “person.” I am one, whole human being, and those who dislike it can take my salary, hate my guts, label me, mock me, tell me I refuse to grow up, tell me I’m dysfunctional or mentally unstable or any of the other things they want to tell me.
I refuse to bow or to sacrifice myself or my loved ones on the altar of capitalist ideology. I refuse. I have emotions. I have them all the time. I have loyalties to personal relationships in my life. I have them all the time. They will always outstrip my loyalties to organizations, companies, third parties, or co-workers, and I refuse to get confused about that, to lie about that, or to willfully suppress that in myself.
I am the radical rebel of all radical rebels; I am the bane of society; I am the end of the happy employee; I am the insane of the insane; I am the biggest problem the world has ever seen: an ideological break.
I rule. I, alone, rule, even if from an impoverished death bed. The rest of you aren’t alive, were never alive, and will never be alive. The rest of you are products and caricatures.
I alone exist. I alone earn respect. And I don’t respect anyone that has passed out of my life for failing this test. And fail they all have in the past.
I am incredibly proud of the way that I have lived my life.
I’ve never sacrificed anyone I cared about in order to serve my own ego, my own fears, my own need to belong, my own need to sustain myself with a wage, or any other reason. I’ve never sold anyone out for any reason.
I’ve never recanted in any belief. I’ve never been untrue, never been a hypocrite, never cried myself to sleep about what I “had to do” as opposed to what I “wanted to do.”
I’ve met every challenge until I was ready to not any longer, and then, I have gone.
Nobody can say these things. Nobody. Me. There are very few others.