What is going on inside my head?
Everybody else putters around knowing what they prefer to do at a given moment. I, as always, am conflicted.
Maybe loathe to have a discussion with myself.
I develop a kind of “what I want conventional wisdom” that is really more about greasing the wheels of sanity and social interaction than about being happy our pursuing goals.
I’m always afraid to spell out my goals. I’m afraid to even know what they are. I’m afraid that having them in the first place will lead me to misery.
Better to close one’s eyes and proceed uncritically.
The fabled courage of youth appears increasingly ephemeral and naive with the progress of age.