Leapdragon 2016 - Aron Hsiao Was Here

Fatigue  §

© 2011 Aron HsiaoThis moment in my life is mostly marked by fatigue—physical fatigue, mental fatigue, and emotional fatigue.

It has been such a long, long road to get here, and the last few years so very exhausting. In the last two months we have left multiple jobs, been separated, traveled for thousands of miles, changed homes and climates and identities, slept almost not at all, resurrected an old house and an overgrown parcel of land.

I am perpetually falling on my face with exhaustion, having come this far.

Yet where are we? Where is here, exactly?

The career path is in confusion. We are financially far less fit than we were during the spring—exponentially less fit. We are in a place that we don’t know well with less social infrastructure around us than we used to have.

Before we came I was convinced that this was the right thing to do for us and for our family.

Now I am unsure. I don’t know one way or the other; I am lost. And I don’t know what comes next.

The biggest impression of the moment, the general state of affairs, is one of absolute, long-term fatigue, the kind of fatigue that makes it difficult to work, play, eat, or even sleep.