Back in the classroom a week from Monday. I don’t know that I’m ready. I don’t know that I’m ever ready after a break of any length.
— § —
Teaching is easily forgotten. The semester ends; you race to grade; you finish. You move onto other projects and forget. You begin to see possibilities—the things you might do with your life, projects that you might begin. After weeks of non-teaching days, you start to feel as though life isn’t so harried after all, wonder why you seem to have so often been pressed and worried.
Then, suddenly, a new semester is upon you and that “other world” of non-teaching suddenly grows dim again; you realize that you’ve been living inside a dream, and that you’ll now wake up and meet reality once again.
— § —
Getting back into the classroom, strangely, is always a great feeling. You dread it, think about a career change, wish you’d already made one, and try to take deep breaths to sublimate the frustration.
Then you walk into the classroom, the world disappears and you move with the flow, and you leave again feeling better than you have in months.
— § —
It’s a sort of emotional roller-coaster.
I still haven’t decided whether it’s for me or not. I hope it doesn’t take me until the day I retire. I’m not a fan of “living inside of a productive tension between…”