One meeting down. Not sure how many to go.
Much to be done. Working on developing the motivation to actually do it.
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Mobile/responsive CSS is now in place here.
Updated favicon (or rather, restored it).
We’re getting there.
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Read a story in the New York Times about a couple that “consciously uncouples” and then, after many years, “consciously couples” again.
And read a bunch of comments debating divorce. The positions seem to be:
1) It’s always better to stay together.
2) It’s better to divorce, respectfully, to avoid just fighting all the time.
The problem with #1 is that some couples are simply miserable, and simply make their children and their own lives miserable, with all of their hate and discomfort.
The problem with #2 is that any couple that is just fighting all the time by definition can’t do anything respectfully, so the divorce will be a hairy one.
So I’ll give my more nuanced position. If you can be respectful, you should stay together. You made the commitment. Hold your nuts and make it work. If you can’t be respectful, then you’ll divorce anyway, since you’re likely immature enough that no position, reasoning, commitment, etc. matters to you anyway. It’s a kind of tautological thing. Couples that can’t do anything but fight contain at least one, and probably two, individuals that simply want what they want, and the rest of the world be damned. At that level of maturity, the question of the ethics of divorce doesn’t even come up.
You can thus presume that anyone that divorces is immature and unable to honor their commitments respectfully and/or that their spouse met these conditions (in fact, likely both, since mutualism implies an active mirroring of interactive proclivities, given that such mirroring is one of the proclivities of interaction).
I say this with full recognition that we used to be a household embroiled constantly in either excessive displays of emotion or in extended bouts of the “silent treatment.”
I also say it knowing that now we are not any longer, and that hopefully we never will be again. We’ve both grown up, I think, this year. Though the process is not complete, it is certainly underway. And as a result, we can now be respectful. And for that reason, we now have the self-awareness (the obligation itself was always there, for both of us) to hold to each other and to our commitments to each other, provided we can avoid losing our minds.
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Of course, hanging onto your mind is easier said than done, as we’re finding out.
But I have a very good amount of faith at this point.
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Flex work is both beautiful and dangerous.
Beautiful because it gives you the space to structure your life in ways that make sense.
Dangerous because with that space, you are still free to do things that don’t make sense, perhaps even more free than you would otherwise be. Successful flex work depends on a certain amount of maturity as well.
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Maturity is not something that western society, and in particular American culture, excels at producing. Case in point: me. In 1999 when I started this thing, I was twenty-three years old. And it reads to my forty-year-old self as if I were a naive, self-absorbed ass.
Twenty-three ought to be old enough to run the farm, or even run for office. Instead, it’s about the age when most young men finally can afford their own video game consoles. I say this with some experience, and having lived and made friends in Los Angeles and Chicago with people that were in their twenties and doing exactly that: buying all the booze they could get their hands on, playing video games nonstop, and turning up for work only because they had to in order to support their booze and gaming habits.
Such people are the precisely why employers continue to tend to shy away from flex-work. Because our “adults” can’t handle it until they’re in their late thirties.
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Does this national culture infantilize its young adults? Superhero Anti-Capitalism Man says, “Yes!”
Meanwhile, arch-villain Capitalism Man says, “Buy an XBox 360, a twelve-pack of Bud Light, and then hit the clubs! The more you’ve earned, the more you can spend on yourself!”