The thing about kids is that if you let them get to you, you’re sunk. The only way not to go crazy is to stay emotionally above the fray. To remember that you’re the adult, you run the show, and at the end of the day they’re still gonna be there tomorrow, needing you just as much as they did today, so you can’t get caught up in drama, let yourself get worked, or let yourself get exhausted.
Say what you mean, do what you do, love them without caving to them, and let them figure out the rest. They’ll figure it out. They’re wired that way.
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The thing about emotional needs is that while everyone has them, the fundamentals of fulfilling them have less to do with other people than they have to do with your own self.
If you know what you need, you’ll get your needs met.
If your needs aren’t being met, then you don’t actually know what you need. Maybe this is because you can’t face it, or maybe it’s because life is confusing. But if you go for extended periods of time in a “my needs are not being met” frame of mind, some introspection is probably in order.
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Even so, and apropos of my last post, it’s not always easy to do the right thing, to do what is necessary or what you’re sure is the thing that you ought to do. But then, there is no reason it should be easy.
I’m not going to say that “nobody ever said it would be easy” because, in fact, that’s not true. Way too many people and pundits and zen-better-your-life-gurus and BFFs out in the world tend to say that it’s easy or to speak in platitudes that make it sound as though it is supposed to be easy.
But that’s bullshit. Life is hard. Get a helmet. Doing what needs to be done can break you. That’s just the way it is.
But growing up is when you realize that not doing what needs to be done will break you harder.
Life is a kind of least-of-all-evils (or, more optimistically, best-I-can-do) balancing act. There’s no way around that.
If life was ever easy, there would be someone on record amongst the smartest, wisest, or most successful people in history that had an easy life as evidence for this possibility. What you see in every biography, instead, is trouble and pain and suffering as far as the eye can see.
There is no known antidote, to date, for entropy. Nobody can hold it together because it can’t be held together.
But it’s just like raising kids. Either you can let it get to you, in which case it can and will overtake and overrun you, or you can appreciate what is, make your peace, do what needs to be done, and let the chips fall where they may.
— 6 —
Did I just paraphrase Bobby McFerrin in long prose?
“Don’t worry. Be happy.”