Leapdragon 2016 - Aron Hsiao Was Here

Parenthood.  §

Kid wakes up in middle of night, doesn’t tell anyone, and drinks two juice boxes. Then, kid comes to lay next to parent in middle of night. For some reason, grabs iPad from table. For some further reason, falls back asleep face down on top of it, with iPad centered directly beneath him.

Kid pees bed. Or more accurately, kid pees iPad. Generously. Everyone soon awake at 3:00 am. Mess cleaned up. In half-asleep peeland, parent misses very important point that iPad was also the parent alarm, and that the parent is in turn the kid alarm.

Everyone thus wakes up in the morning at 8:05, just a few minutes before school is to begin. Everyone races to get to school on time for sibling—just barely.

Kid and parent come breathlessly back home after dropping sibling off. Kid asks to watch a movie on parent’s iPad. Parent explains that this is not possible because kid has peed iPad, and iPad is thus not disposed to show him a movie.

Being tired for having waken up drenched in pee in the middle of the night, kid is similarly not disposed to hear excuses and explanations. Kid throws big tantrum.

Parent sits down and has tea to the soundtrack of fatigued morning tantrum, instead of to music from iPad.

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